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Why are you still there?

Chapter One

What Is Your Mysterious Behavior Box?

The mysterious behavior box is you, namely what goes on in your brain

and how you process that information. For example, Sue Henderson is

washing dishes when her husband comes home.

“Where is my dinner?” he asks.

“I didn’t have time to fix dinner, but it will be ready in one hour,” she replies.

Cursing and physical abuse followed.

“You will never amount to anything,” he said.

I am going to leave him this time, she thinks to herself. I have a good

job and make more money then he does—I don’t have to take this. But she

doesn’t leave. She stays year after year. Why? Someone asked her why she

allows herself to be abused repeatedly, especially since she has the choice

to leave.

“You are harming yourself and you are very unhappy,” stated a friend.

“What about the children? Leave for their sake,” commented another

friend.

Sue’s answer was always, “I don’t know. I wonder myself why I keep

allowing the same harmful things to happen repeatedly. I guess that is just

the way I am and always will be. That is the way things have to be.”

Sue’s decision to stay or leave her husband, and his decision to mistreat

her was processed first in his brain.

When you notice people doing things that you consider strange, it is

because they, like Sue Henderson, are operating in their comfort zone or

their own private logic. This comfort zone is not necessarily a cozy place

to be, but a place of familiarity. It can be a place where little changes are

necessary. Most of us do not like change, even if it is good for us.

When someone discusses a personal problem with you, you may think

that the solution is simple, a no brainer, like Sue’s. But what seems like a

no brianer to you may be very difficult for them. It depends on what’s in

their mysterious behavior box.

The mysterious behavior box is a place where many activities take place.

Some are active (we do these things without much thought), while others

are dormant (and remain that way until we activate them). You can say

the box is your total personality, character, and behavior. As you read this

book, you may begin to think differently as I reveal some very interesting

facts about you. Keep an open mind.