Why are you still there? |
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Chapter One Why is Sue Henderson still there? What Is Your Mysterious Behavior Box? The mysterious behavior box is you, namely what goes on in your brain and how you process that information. For example, Sue Henderson is washing dishes when her husband comes home. “Where is my dinner?” he asks. “I didn’t have time to fix dinner, but it will be ready in one hour,” she replies. Cursing and physical abuse followed. “You will never amount to anything,” he said. I am going to leave him this time, she thinks to herself. I have a good job and make more money then he does—I don’t have to take this. But she doesn’t leave. She stays year after year. Why? Someone asked her why she allows herself to be abused repeatedly, especially since she has the choice to leave. “You are harming yourself and you are very unhappy,” stated a friend. “What about the children? Leave for their sake,” commented another friend. Sue’s answer was always, “I don’t know. I wonder myself why I keep allowing the same harmful things to happen repeatedly. I guess that is just the way I am and always will be. That is the way things have to be.” Sue’s decision to stay or leave her husband, and his decision to mistreat her was processed first in his brain. When you notice people doing things that you consider strange, it is because they, like Sue Henderson, are operating in their comfort zone or their own private logic. This comfort zone is not necessarily a cozy place to be, but a place of familiarity. It can be a place where little changes are necessary. Most of us do not like change, even if it is good for us. When someone discusses a personal problem with you, you may think that the solution is simple, a no brainer, like Sue’s. But what seems like a no brianer to you may be very difficult for them. It depends on what’s in their mysterious behavior box. The mysterious behavior box is a place where many activities take place. Some are active (we do these things without much thought), while others are dormant (and remain that way until we activate them). You can say the box is your total personality, character, and behavior. As you read this book, you may begin to think differently as I reveal some very interesting facts about you. Keep an open mind. |