Why are you still there?
What Is Your Mysterious Behavior Box?
The mysterious behavior box is you, namely what goes on in your brain
and how you process that information. For example, Sue Henderson is
washing dishes when her husband comes home.
“Where is my dinner?” he asks.
“I didn’t have time to fix dinner, but it will be ready in one hour,” she replies.
Cursing and physical abuse followed.
“You will never amount to anything,” he said.
I am going to leave him this time, she thinks to herself. I have a good
job and make more money then he does—I don’t have to take this. But she
doesn’t leave. She stays year after year. Why? Someone asked her why she
allows herself to be abused repeatedly, especially since she has the choice
“You are harming yourself and you are very unhappy,” stated a friend.
“What about the children? Leave for their sake,” commented another
Sue’s answer was always, “I don’t know. I wonder myself why I keep
allowing the same harmful things to happen repeatedly. I guess that is just
the way I am and always will be. That is the way things have to be.”
Sue’s decision to stay or leave her husband, and his decision to mistreat
her was processed first in his brain.
When you notice people doing things that you consider strange, it is
because they, like Sue Henderson, are operating in their comfort zone or
their own private logic. This comfort zone is not necessarily a cozy place
to be, but a place of familiarity. It can be a place where little changes are
necessary. Most of us do not like change, even if it is good for us.
When someone discusses a personal problem with you, you may think
that the solution is simple, a no brainer, like Sue’s. But what seems like a
no brianer to you may be very difficult for them. It depends on what’s in
their mysterious behavior box.
The mysterious behavior box is a place where many activities take place.
Some are active (we do these things without much thought), while others
are dormant (and remain that way until we activate them). You can say
the box is your total personality, character, and behavior. As you read this
book, you may begin to think differently as I reveal some very interesting
facts about you. Keep an open mind.